Beach

December 12, 2013 § 14 Comments

Image

Beyond rabbit clipped dunes

The sea sighs.

Shells rubbed smooth of past.

Fragments of lives broken

Swarm and tumble in sun-glitter.

They chatter in tongues.

Screech as wave sucks.

Seagulls curl.

Wing tips ruffle in cliff top thermal

Circling spindrift foam.

Calling for Posiedon.

Below.

Oyster catchers quick skitter.

Beaks darting jab for rotting fish

Clinging to sightless fish bone.

*

To all my wonderful friends who write poetry. How can I improve on this?

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§ 14 Responses to Beach

  • I would keep it just as it is, I enjoyed it very much. And I loved the scansion of the words. I always read poetry out loud, to see how it feels on the tongue and this felt great.

  • Great imagery, Rachael, and I love the way your poem reads. There is a great contrast between beauty and the inevitability of change (‘They chatter in tongues.
    Screech as wave sucks.’). If it were mine I might play around a little with ending, perhaps keep the fish alive, darting to avoid death. Just a thought – feel free to disregard it!!
    Take care, Chris.

  • mikesteeden says:

    Each line stands alone as if titles of novels – I enjoyed this rather a lot. It calmed my mood which isn’t always that easy! Well done – again!

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Thanks Mike. Came from years of driving the kids thirty miles to school every day then rewarding myself by walking the dogs on the beach.
      When are we going to see some of your more ‘sombre’ poems…please!

      • mikesteeden says:

        Sombre you want the sombre you shall have! Not content with Dracula’s Broken Fangs earlier you have now inspired a poem just this minute posted – not up to your standards yet I enjoyed the challenge. Thank you for reminding me to take a shot at sombre.

  • Miranda Stone says:

    This is a lovely poem, Rachael, and I think the first and last lines are the most powerful. Unless I’m writing haiku, my poetry tends to be narrative, so it’s nice to see someone explore with pure description and action in poetry, and you do it very well here.

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