Out Of Place

March 21, 2014 § 9 Comments

Image

Sheep skull on the beach –

 The painter’s brush returns it

To the green mountain

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§ 9 Responses to Out Of Place

  • I’m really loving your haiku, so simple but brilliantly perfect. Looking forward to the next 🙂
    Sent from my BlackBerry smartphone from Virgin Media

  • Well, this just about sums up the cyclic nature of life. Beautifully written, Rachael.

  • Miranda Stone says:

    I love the direction this haiku takes with the last line, and the way you incorporate the title as part of the story. This is just a suggestion, and feel free to ignore it, because the poem is great as is, but I was thinking you could consider rewording the second line to: The painter’s brush returns it. And your honeymoon with the haiku goes on! 🙂

  • Rachael Charmley says:

    It is a long honeymoon so… and don’t forget who put me up to it! 🙂
    Looking at that second line it suddenly doesn’t look right, although it did this morning! Basho said something about re-writing five hundred times…

    Is your story about ready to go up?

    Have a lovely weekend with your canine buddy… 🙂

  • Dionne says:

    Stripping away everything except the concise crafting of words to capture the full on imagery–haiku wonderful. Nice.

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