May 6, 2014 § 8 Comments

andre ermolaev 5

watching the river

the whole universe flows past –

a red ant nips me


Aerial photo courtesy Andre Ermolaev


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§ 8 Responses to sitting

  • mikesteeden says:

    Rather nice; very clever.

  • Miranda Stone says:

    I love the shift in perspective here, Rachael. The poem starts out pondering the enormity of the universe, and ends by focusing on a creature as tiny as an ant, jarring the reader back into the present. Well done!

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Thank you, dear friend. You spotted what I was up to: ie. shifting perspective and trying to create an oblique connection in a Zen kind of way. You are such an empathic and encouraging reader. x
      PS. Looking forward to some more astronomy haikus!

  • Wonderful…I love this haiku 🙂
    It’s the surprise nip which changes the feel suddenly!

  • pi314chron says:

    Just exquisite! However, it did bring back a bit of a painful memory for me. Trimming grass (“sitting,” of course) next to our fence, I once sat down in a fire ant bed! 😛

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Ha! I’m sorry to have stirred that memory. Do you know the expression ‘having ants in your pants’ meaning when you can’t sit still? 🙂

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