a simple moment

May 17, 2014 § 4 Comments

Image

 

speckled trout circles

inside the sunlit shallows

plop –

a water rat

~

Photo courtesy Kyoko Imazu

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Tagged: , , ,

§ 4 Responses to a simple moment

  • Beautiful sound and motion caught in words Rachael

  • Miranda Stone says:

    Perfect! As greenmackenzie said, you do a fantastic job of catching the motion through your words. Again, you create the best kind of haiku here by first portraying a calm peaceful scene, and then with a plop, it’s all disturbed by the water rat! (Love that illustration as well!)

  • Rachael Charmley says:

    Thank you, Miranda! This changing of energy in the the last line really seems to make the difference to the quality of the haiku. It’s like an ‘eye blink’ !

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