Creative Writing and unfinished business…
June 23, 2014 § 22 Comments
old man kisses
the golden wedding band –
her last breath
Tagged: death, dying, haiku, love, poetry
Thanks Dan. I was thinking about when my mother died, and this haiku ‘moment’ appeared…
Sorry for you but I’m impressed at how you can invoke such a strong emotion in such few words.
This is so sad and yet so beautiful: to journey through a life time with the one you love makes everything worthwhile. Thank you for this.
Thanks, Chris. I paired it down in order to capture the essence of that moment.
Ahhhhhhhhhh Rachael; it’s heartbreaking, you know I was reading a sad post of someone Iike very much (I don’t know if you follow his blog
http://thepoetrychannel.wordpress.com/type/aside/ – He wants to say “adieu” to his followers, I don’t know the reason why, and right after that I read your terrible haiku, oh my God! A third sad poem and I’m sure I’m going to have my own last breath!
It’s always quite difficult to write about death, and you’ve succeed in writing something exceptional, we can feel that those had a whole life together, and that time to say goodbye has come. And this, in only three lines, and ten words, I’ve counted them, yes 10 words… You’re able to share so deep and strong feelings with you readers with only 10 words… bravo Rachael!
Thank you, Frederic. When I read what I’d written (and also somehow became separate from, now it has been blogged), it made me immensely sad. I was surprised how the sparcity of it increased its power. Good to go back to these events from time to time…
PS. Thanks for the heads up on thepoetrychannel. It’s exquisite.
Beautiful – not sad!
Thank you, Mike. I hope I’ll agree with you, soon 🙂
I have nominated you for the very inspiring award. Do have a look and please accept the award 🙂 and may I say that you have an amazing blog! Keep writing! 🙂
I’m very moved you have nominated me for this award. You have a great blog and I Iook forward to exploring it further. Unfortunately I won’t be able to accept the award this time. A lot of people view my blog already; perhaps you could find someone who needs a little help with publicity instead. Thanks anyway 🙂
No problem 🙂
Very touching at such a deep level…..less is definitely more when it comes to powerful emotions. Is the photo of your mothers hand?
No. Taking photos at such a time would not have been right for me. To be honest, acknowledging the photo slipped my mind…
I just wondered because there was such tenderness in the hands….it made me want to go and capture a shot of my own mothers hands 🙂
Good idea. There’s something very special about old peoples bodies and skin. I always want to touch and stroke 🙂
I agree, I love the textures and marks of a life well lived, and skin which seems to become incredibly soft again. Holding or stroking an elders hand feels like touching a story of wisdom 🙂
Whew, this poem really struck a chord within me, Rachael. And after reading the other comments, I see that it’s had a powerful effect on others as well. I think writing can sometimes be cathartic, and I hope this haiku felt that way for you, since it’s so personal. Great big hugs and much love, my friend.
Strange, this one. I didn’t write it from a personal viewpoint at all – but it kind of turned into that! It’s gratifying that it touched people though…
Hope you had a good weekend 🙂
So sad and beautiful
Thank you, Laine.
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