Creative Writing and unfinished business…
August 3, 2014 § 26 Comments
writing your name
in my breath on the window –
to say goodbye
Image courtesy Holly Schmidt
Tagged: haiku, letting go, poetry
That may be even more romantic than the remembrances etched with a diamond ring on the medieval castle windows we read of. Certainly more ephemeral. 🙂
Yes, Neo – because it recognises emotions as but a transient state perhaps… But I like to see the etchings and scratchings on the old buildings so my imagination can play 🙂
Perhaps so, Rachael. I’m with you on the etchings and scratchings on old buildings.
It does give our imaginations license to play, and in a way also let’s us connect on a personal level with those that came before us.
Seems, at least to me, to matter little whether it’s a Viking raider, a star-crossed noble daughter, or a revolutionary soldier, they all tell us a story, if we let them. 🙂
Yes, Neo. So true. It can also help us put our own lives in perspective too, perhaps…
True enough, Rachael. Perhaps reminding us to leave our mark, as well…
Yes. What a gift for metaphor you have…
That is, if anything, a reflection of the company I keep, which is outstanding. 🙂
Wow, such a lovely emotional haiku 🙂
🙂 This one just came, so I had to have it!
They are always the best ones 🙂
Ahhhh….! Lovely ❤
Thank you, Lorrie. This one just breathed itself alive ❤
Dear friends who show themselves to you …gotta love it 🙂 ❤
Beautifully melancholic, yet with a hint of sweet memory…
When I read this poem, the first word that came to mind was, “Ephemeral.” A relationship, once it has ended, can seem as ephemeral as one’s breath on glass. Transient, fleeting. It’s a haunting contrast, because relationships are so often considered long-term and enduring. Beautiful words, Haiku Queen.
You put it beautifully – much better than I could. What you have written feels like the bare bones of a rather special poem… xxx
Why, thank you, Rachael, but your words are what inspired that comment. Your poetry has the power to evoke all sorts of emotions and imagery within me.
A goodbye that disappears.
Yes. A transcience.
Oh, achingly lovely, Rachael. Agree with all of the wonderful comments above. Another take: this action of writing one’s name in another’s breath feels very intimate to me. While the focus here may be in one sense be on endings and goodbyes, my experience is of a very tender, conjoining of souls that wafts into eternity–brilliant evocation of the evanescent occurring within the eternal, my friend. Very luscious indeed. Xo
Yes. I was fixed on the idea of some sort of closure with this haiku, but I so like your idea. There is something deeply intimate in the act, whatever its intention. What I like most of all is the symbolic connection in the eternal – and this can be so whether it’s an affirmation of a joining or of a disconnection. Hope this makes sense – and thank you for taking the time with this. xxx
P.s. It seems that once again (and unintentionally) I have hit the unfollow button on my iPad–sigh–hence my following (again) just now….
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