Creative Writing and unfinished business…
August 20, 2014 § 25 Comments
on the kitchen table –
The other ending before I changed it was:
Which to choose ? 🙂
Image courtesy Corey Michael Dalton
Tagged: cat, haiku, mystery, news, poetry, unopened letter
Oh I live to get letters, especially nice fat looking ones like this. Have you a birthday coming?
Birthday in July! Nice fat letters are so rare these days 😦
O Rachael! How (almost) perfect. I would’ve left out the purring cat, but that’s me being fussy! The letter! The mystery! The what-might-have-been!
Puss now removed – sense of menace insufficient. Kestrel better… 🙂
Kestrel! The kestrel changes everything! Amazing – the force of just one word…
How about ‘termite’, ‘gorilla’, or maybe ‘bulldozer’ ? 😉
unopened letter… mysterious and inspiring words Rachael! it stimulates my imagination. The last line makes me think it should be a very nice new 🙂 have a nice day!
Thanks, Frederic. I just changed the last line. The cat seemed a bit too cosy!
it sounds even nicer, “circling kestrel”, and of course you taught me a new word, the connotations are quite different now, but I still love the poem (anyway I love everything you write!!!)
Ditto the last bit in parentheses! Your talent is extraordinary, F. The way your mind works (ie. the way you look at things) – is – I know it’s been said before but I’ll say it again – inspirational!! 🙂
Just to be awkward I’m going to say that I liked the cat – his purring makes one wonder what he knows. Talking of which did you catch the programme about cats the other evening? At one point the presenter announced that cats pur when anxious which, having had cats for more years than I can count, came as news to me! We have twenty currently, and the only sign of one being anxious is a black queen who has a penchant for chewing plastic (make sure the bread is hidden away.
Anyway, the kestrel works to give a different slant, which I enjoyed too!
Take care, Chris.
I thought the cat would do nicely – then I didn’t. But the kestrel does ok too! Haiku are such fragile little creatures that you have to catch the idea, write it down quick, post on the blog – then forget about!
No, didn’t see the programme – not a great telly watcher – but I’ve had lots of cats and I never associated purring with anxiety – just happiness and a full tummy!
I like purring cat.. I hope the letter is not a bill? 🙂
Sent from my BlackBerry smartphone from Virgin Media
🙂 Thank you.
A bill? We shall never know…
Ooo, love the intrigue! I love how you continue to string these vivid and multicolored gems of haikus each day, my friend. For me, the circling kestrel adds more of a sense of the portentous. The purring cat, a cozier feel–which is not a bad thing :). May many lovely letters slide into your life’s mailbox, cherie. xxx
Your warmth and appreciation shines through your words, Chloe – just when I need them. Thank you dear friend. I so love inventing these haiku moments. Sometimes they’re like little arrows – and then they’re gone.
Cat or kestrel? Such different energies, each sending the haiku in a totally different direction.
Thank you again – you’re such a lovely soul. The blog would be a cold place without you. xxx
Sending more positive juju, my friend. xo
This is a tough call! I think it all depends on the type of tone you want to strike with your words. The purring cat makes me think that the letter brings good news. The circling kestrel, a bird of prey on the hunt, delivers a more menacing, sinister note. I have to say I prefer the kestrel ending, simply because it jars the reader in the way the third line of a haiku should. Well done, Rachael!
Thank you my friend, for taking the time over this. You’re right. As a haiku the kestrel provides the frisson a fluffy feline doesn’t!
kestrel oh yes! love it
Kestrel it is then…
both work. they make two poems. the “circling kestrel” could indicate waiting, hunting, looking for something; maybe even a warning. “purring cat” might signal contentment, maybe happiness, or the answer to a desired wish.
Thank you for taking the time. Your comments are much appreciated 🙂
Kestrel is dangerous, seeking…cat is sweet, soft and purring. Two different meanings. I like the kestrel. Lovely poem.
Thank you. After leaving the haiku alone for a week or two, I prefer the kestrel ending too. It makes that consciousness shift so beloved of haiku scholars, it it adds the idea of unknown menace outside the safety of the room. Thanks again for taking the time 🙂
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