moment

August 20, 2014 § 25 Comments

index

unopened letter

on the kitchen table –

circling kestrel

~

 

The other ending before I changed it was:

‘purring cat’

 

Which to choose ? 🙂

 Image courtesy Corey Michael Dalton

Advertisements

Tagged: , , , , ,

§ 25 Responses to moment

  • Oh I live to get letters, especially nice fat looking ones like this. Have you a birthday coming?

  • Bruce Goodman says:

    O Rachael! How (almost) perfect. I would’ve left out the purring cat, but that’s me being fussy! The letter! The mystery! The what-might-have-been!

  • F.G.M. says:

    unopened letter… mysterious and inspiring words Rachael! it stimulates my imagination. The last line makes me think it should be a very nice new 🙂 have a nice day!

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Thanks, Frederic. I just changed the last line. The cat seemed a bit too cosy!

      • F.G.M. says:

        it sounds even nicer, “circling kestrel”, and of course you taught me a new word, the connotations are quite different now, but I still love the poem (anyway I love everything you write!!!)

        • Rachael Charmley says:

          Ditto the last bit in parentheses! Your talent is extraordinary, F. The way your mind works (ie. the way you look at things) – is – I know it’s been said before but I’ll say it again – inspirational!! 🙂

  • Just to be awkward I’m going to say that I liked the cat – his purring makes one wonder what he knows. Talking of which did you catch the programme about cats the other evening? At one point the presenter announced that cats pur when anxious which, having had cats for more years than I can count, came as news to me! We have twenty currently, and the only sign of one being anxious is a black queen who has a penchant for chewing plastic (make sure the bread is hidden away.
    Anyway, the kestrel works to give a different slant, which I enjoyed too!
    Take care, Chris.

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      I thought the cat would do nicely – then I didn’t. But the kestrel does ok too! Haiku are such fragile little creatures that you have to catch the idea, write it down quick, post on the blog – then forget about!
      No, didn’t see the programme – not a great telly watcher – but I’ve had lots of cats and I never associated purring with anxiety – just happiness and a full tummy!

  • I like purring cat.. I hope the letter is not a bill? 🙂
    Sent from my BlackBerry smartphone from Virgin Media

  • Rachael Charmley says:

    🙂 Thank you.
    A bill? We shall never know…

  • SirenaTales says:

    Ooo, love the intrigue! I love how you continue to string these vivid and multicolored gems of haikus each day, my friend. For me, the circling kestrel adds more of a sense of the portentous. The purring cat, a cozier feel–which is not a bad thing :). May many lovely letters slide into your life’s mailbox, cherie. xxx

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Your warmth and appreciation shines through your words, Chloe – just when I need them. Thank you dear friend. I so love inventing these haiku moments. Sometimes they’re like little arrows – and then they’re gone.
      Cat or kestrel? Such different energies, each sending the haiku in a totally different direction.
      Thank you again – you’re such a lovely soul. The blog would be a cold place without you. xxx

  • Miranda Stone says:

    This is a tough call! I think it all depends on the type of tone you want to strike with your words. The purring cat makes me think that the letter brings good news. The circling kestrel, a bird of prey on the hunt, delivers a more menacing, sinister note. I have to say I prefer the kestrel ending, simply because it jars the reader in the way the third line of a haiku should. Well done, Rachael!

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Thank you my friend, for taking the time over this. You’re right. As a haiku the kestrel provides the frisson a fluffy feline doesn’t!

  • marit31 says:

    both work. they make two poems. the “circling kestrel” could indicate waiting, hunting, looking for something; maybe even a warning. “purring cat” might signal contentment, maybe happiness, or the answer to a desired wish.

  • Kestrel is dangerous, seeking…cat is sweet, soft and purring. Two different meanings. I like the kestrel. Lovely poem.

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Thank you. After leaving the haiku alone for a week or two, I prefer the kestrel ending too. It makes that consciousness shift so beloved of haiku scholars, it it adds the idea of unknown menace outside the safety of the room. Thanks again for taking the time 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

What’s this?

You are currently reading moment at Changing Skin and other stories.

meta

%d bloggers like this: