aerial dance

September 8, 2014 § 12 Comments

seagull-ventura-county

seagull circles in the mist

dips a wing –

skims the soundless sea

~

Image courtesy Stephanie Hogue

Tagged: , , ,

§ 12 Responses to aerial dance

  • psychopathsgetbored28 says:

    Another beautiful haiku! And what splendid imagery! Thanks for sharing. 🙂 ❤

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Thank you! It’s weird – when I stop trying to write ‘good haiku’ – the good ones come! If only I could learn 🙂 ❤

  • pi314chron says:

    Ahhh! Then perhaps you should stop trying to write “great haiku” to see if the great ones come. However, this haiku is evidence that you are almost there already. ❤

  • It’s all about patience and knowing the right moment. A great Haiku, with profound meaning.

  • SirenaTales says:

    Ah, dance and the sea and circling and swooping–love all of this! As well as the sibilant-themed “bass line.” xoxo

  • F.G.M. says:

    soundless sea, but not a soundless haiku, the “s” alliteration makes it very “musical”! beautiful, as always! I agree with your reply to Psychopathgetbored: when you stop trying to write “good poetry”, you write… good poetry! So, I guess you never try to write beautiful lines, since they always are nice 🙂 ♥

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Hah! Thank you. I nearly gave up writing the little monsters a couple of weeks ago; I suspect because I was trying too hard so nothing came out right! You should see my slush pile! So from now on I shall spend my entire day by the river sitting under the willow tree, and all these gems will just fall out of my head onto the page… Umm 🙂 🙂 ❤

  • Miranda Stone says:

    I’m sure you’ve guessed that I’m going to say how much I love the alliteration here! And the assonance as well (in, mist, dips, skims). Lovely image. I’ve never thought of the sea as being soundless. A very interesting way to describe it.

    • Rachael Charmley says:

      Yep! The dancing reference was for Chloe, and the linguistic techniquey bits were for you! I think I might have got a bit carried away though…
      If you’ve ever sat in a boat and there’s no wind, and the surface is as flat as a pancake – that’s when I’ve experienced the silence of the sea. It’s quite spooky. xx

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