no moon

June 15, 2016 § 8 Comments

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no moon

the owl’s hoot

lengthens the night

~

 

image courtesy Javier Fernandez Sanchez/Getty Images/Flickr RF

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§ 8 Responses to no moon

  • mark says:

    Excellent Rachael, I like the way the lines get longer also, mirroring what the haiku says.

    I’ll wait and see what your next post is before I declare you ‘Owl Crazy’, at the moment it’s still just a harmless phase.

    Thanks for sharing

    Mark

    • Rachael says:

      I liked that haiku too, even though it didn’t conform to the ‘rules’. Breaking them I enjoy. Re owl fetish. Have had heron passion for a while and the owl may be pestering to take its place. I can’t live without obsessions… 🙂

      • mark says:

        There are rules? Huh, how come I never knew.
        I used to follow all the wrong rules in haiku and it took me twenty years to realise it wasn’t about 17 syllables.

        preparing three lines
        his first fix of the morning —
        a slave to haiku

        But at least I can laugh at it now. For some 5-7-5 is all there is to a haiku, I did always have a season reference and it was always about nature. But now these days I see people writing stuff like this

        How hard can it be
        Five syllables, then seven
        and then five. Haiku!!

        And sometimes they can be…

        cherry blossom trapped
        in a syllabic cliche
        waiting for a frog

        But I’m not a haiku snob, honest. Your owl haiku that you reckons breaks the rules has a certain hint of Basho about it. Also it has the moon in it but only to say that there is no moon. Since moon could be the kigo then it’s quite clever and somewhat Zen.

        I understand about the running theme issue as well. I wrote a hell of a lot of haiku/senryu about robins, I was obsessed without realising it.

        dusk
        two robins –
        arguing

        Heron you say? Hmmm… here’s a photo that I took—after months of trying I must add—that I think you might like.

        • Rachael says:

          Indeed I do like your heron. I immediately felt a haiku coming on but I suppressed it as I’ve got to go out in a minute.
          There are haiku poets out there resembling autistic thought police who will tell you that your offering is very nice, but… Have you not encountered these wonderful souls?
          On a sensible note, it really can’t be about 17 syllables or 5-7-5 as our language isn’t structured like Japanese. Some of my early ‘stick to the rules’ haiku were so wordy they were embarrassing! It is as you say about the surprise in the first line and all those possibilities barely hinted at in between the lines
          Always good to talk 🙂

  • Gorgeous – love that ‘lengthens the night’.

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